Finding out that a partner cheated on you is one of the worst feelings imaginable. Being betrayed by someone close to you is a feeling that no one should have to experience. Unfortunately, it’s a pretty common practice in the United States. In fact, a recent statistic suggests that in over 33% of marriages at least one partner admits to cheating. We hope that you never end up being a part of this statistic, but if you do, there’s hope. Couples Counseling Costa Mesa has the tools and expertise to help you and your partner through the rough waters of infidelity. With my help, you can potentially survive infidelity and come through the other side in a stronger and healthier relationship. If it does happen to you, here a few tips to help you through it:
Don’t bury your head in the sand: Just because a partner admitting infidelity can be an incredibly painful experience, doesn’t mean that you should run from it. Pretending it didn’t happen isn’t going to make it any easier to deal with. Unfortunately, the best way to conquer the damage of infidelity is facing it head-on. Denying it or burying your head in the sand will only prolong your pain.
Don’t go it alone: If you’re cheated on you may feel isolated, alone, and like no one can understand your pain. Even if you feel like the only person on the planet that’s hurting, that’s not the case. Find solace in friends, family, support groups, your therapist, or even your leisure activities. Having a strong support system can help you cope with the pain of infidelity and learn how to move past it. Seeking support is the most important for those with reoccurring issues with depression or anxiety.
The increased stress of infidelity can cause depression or anxious thoughts to arise, making it harder to cope with day to day life.
Don’t restrict the flow of information: If you were the one who cheated on your spouse don’t hold back any information that they want to know. It may be an incredibly difficult conversation to have but restricting the type of information that you provide to your significant other makes it harder for them to heal. Censoring or controlling information is perceived as another way that you’re holding power over them. You may think that you’re protecting them, but in the end, it’s not a helpful practice. Allow them to ask questions, give complete answers and be as open as they want you to be. Opening the lines of communication is the first step to regaining trust.
Baby steps: After a partner admits to cheating, don’t expect everything to get patched up quickly and things to go back to normal. Emotions take a long time to heal. Trust takes a long time to regain. You may be haunted by the idea of your partner’s infidelity for a very long time after they admitted to it, or your partner may have a hard time letting go of their guilt. Allow yourself to heal slowly and take your time to navigate what’s next in your relationship.
Are you ready to take control of your relationship and heal from the pains of infidelity? Contact Couples Counseling Costa Mesa today to start on your path to healing.
Patrice Hooke, LMFT uses practical honest feedback and focus on the strengths of my clients to help them reach their goals. I believe that with honesty, compassion and understanding, we can all find healing and have a more fulfilling life. She is especially passionate about couples counseling Costa Mesa.